


Agents of SHEEP

by TortiQuercu



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 15:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1161461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiQuercu/pseuds/TortiQuercu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agent Coulson asks why Ward and Skye were fighting with each other... but does he really want to know the answer?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agents of SHEEP

**Author's Note:**

> This is a quick one-shot exercise in a dialogue-only piece, I hope you enjoy it. I absolutely adore the dialogue on Agents of SHIELD, they are great characters to play with!

"Agent Ward, what was all the shouting about?"

"Nothing, sir. Nothing important, I mean."

"…. but isn't it Fun Times Friday?"

"Ugh, now she's got you calling it that, too? What IS it with making everything sound like kindergarten around here? The night night gun, the welcome wagon, Fun Times Friday…"

"I don't know, it all sticks."

"It's ridiculous. And yes, it was Tactical Evaluation Simulation Training."

"So… it was a TEST?"

"AGENT COULSON. Please."

"Sorry, sorry. I kind of see what the appeal of that is, though. You make a really funny face when you're exasperated…."

"I'm leaving."

"Okay, wait… wait, I'm sorry. I still want to know why you and Skye were fighting. Is there a problem?"

"Yes. Yes, actually. The problem is Skye, and her total unwillingness to trade wool in Settlers of Catan."

"She… what? Wool?"

"Yes. Settlers of Catan, a board game which I was attempting to use to teach negotiation and resource procurement skills. Those can be mission critical. But she controlled all the pastures and refused to surrender wool because, and I quote, 'the sheep are too cute!' You'll have to imagine the girly squeal she says that with, I can't bring myself to do it."

"Let me get this straight. She had an adorable resource that she wouldn't share with you, and it devolved into a shouting match?"

"Uhhh… well, yes. But she was blocking the exercise! I couldn't build any cities when she was hogging all the wool."

"Sooo… who won your simulation, then?"

"Neither of us! She wasn't playing fair!"

"…."

"Okay, pretend I didn't say that."

"Agent Ward, did you just state that you expected a mission training exercise to be fair?"

"Yes, but that's not what I meant. What I meant was she was being uncooperative… wait, no. That's not what I mean, either."

"Okay, I think I'm getting this. You were engaged in negotiations with a hostile party and it ended in a no-win scenario for both of you? Wow, Grant, I'm impressed…. you actually did create a perfect mission training scenario with one of your board games."

"Hmmph."

"Although, I'm not entirely sure it was a loss for Skye. She got to keep her cute sheep, stall the game and infuriate you to boot, correct?"

"Yes."

"Those are pretty much her ideal win conditions. Because you're totally making that face again. The exasperated face…"

"Okay, sir, I get it. She's a master at pushing my buttons. It's infuriating."

"It's fascinating. Ten minutes with her and she can accomplish what years of SHIELD training is supposed to prevent, rattling you like this. I've got half a mind to send her over to the Ops Academy…."

"Oh God, don't even joke about that. We might as well invite Centipede in as guest lecturers."

"Maybe. In the mean time, you might want to consider what your rookie just taught you during your simulation."

"That a well-placed lamb could effectively neutralize her in the field?"

"That too. You'd better do some work on 'cute hostiles'."

"Ughhhh. We're doomed, sir. Doomed."


End file.
